Case Study 4 –Deborah and Charlie

Deborah (39) was concerned about the change in her relationship with Charlie (41). She wanted some insight into whether the relationship was over or if there was a way of helping him to talk to her again.

They’d lived together for 12 years during which time their similar careers had taken different directions. Deborah was doing well but Charles wasn’t and he’s become, demotivated, bitter, and swung between a state of anger or complete withdrawal.

They also had financial problems and Deborah has found herself doing much of the work in the relationship, both as a breadwinner and emotional provider. Their sex life has deteriorated along with Charlie’s confidence leaving Deborah dissatisfied and resentful. She felt tired of trying to bolster Charlie and felt he had distanced himself to the extent that their two young sons had noticed his personality change. All the tension and bad feeling left her highly anxious about the future for the family, but also very aware she’d reached the end of her tether and was tempted to try an affair.

Coming to see a Relate counsellor gave them the opportunity to improve their communication and feel supported to work out their difficulties.